Shifty Eyed Sam the Eagle Variant

Sam the Eagle as seen on "The Muppet Show"

with lectern, magnetic seal of Sam the Eagle, Standards and Practices book, and U.S. Constitution.

Job: Self-appointed guardian of morals
Special Talents: Censorship, ruffling his feathers, looking down his beak at others
Likes: Mom, baseball, hot dogs, applepie, the American flag
Dislikes: Unpatriotic behavior, french fries.